pretty young dumb thing

when i was 12, the mother of a friend told me very nicely that i should start using fair and lovely... I said no thanks....I don't think I ever felt bad about the way I looked until I came to engineering... Even then, I knew it was a passing phase and didn't bother too much...
yesterday, I read in newspapers that young girls (12 to 17) get their hands and legs waxed, get their eyebrows plucked and worry about their weight and shop for the latest fashion... here... in India...
I saw a little girl asking her mom for a princess dress in the mall...
when did things change so much??? I thought girls that age worried about boys and studies and books and stuff... not their looks!
I think the media plays a role too... all those air brushed celebrity pictures bombarding us all the time! And girls that age really get influenced quickly...
I worry about how it will be, when I have kids...
There's another thing that i see a lot... A lot of girls dumb themselves down in the work place, with their boy friends...I just hope that it's a passing phase.... I thought smart was in.... i seem out of touch with reality......
young girls are increasingly getting judged on what they have and what they look like rather than what they are or can become. I think that's just sad....
young girls have so many opportunities today and this negative trend might just reverse all that...
If I decide to have kids and my kid is a young girl, I hope I can teach her to be smart, ambitious and sensible and compassionate.... like my mom did....

bollywood

now bollywood isn't exactly progressive and its portrayal of women can be called atleast regressive.
none of the heroines have serious careers.. it was so much better in the 70s. take kaala pathar for example. of the three heroines, rakhi was a doctor, parveen babi was a journalist...
I can't remember the last recent movie that i watched where the heroine had something to do other than to look good.
all ambitious women are bad. they either end up dead or as losers.
ambitious women tend be lonely.
ambitious women make bad mothers...
whether society is influenced by movies or vice versa, i see a dangerous trend here

To all you pessimists out there.... this is specially for you
"Be careful how you think. Your life is shaped by your thoughts"
-Proverbs 4:23

happy diwali

On a happier note... I wish all of you a very happy diwali. Hope this diwali brings you peace and happiness.

A country of bullies

we are a nation of bullies. there i said it!! it's my way or the highway. this is one of the main reasons political debate has stooped to an all time low. lok sabha met only 25 times this year. there has been virtuallyno debate on anything. opposition mps disrupt parliament for every issue and every crisis. in a time when this country is facing economic and terror threats, our politicians set a wonderful example by simply not listening to anything anyone else is saying.
Today I watched a discussion on tv about the communalization of the terror threat. the 4 "esteemed" panellists did not hear out each other or the anchor. each was trying to shout down the other. intolerance in public spaces is growing at an alarming rate and we're too self satisfied and smug to even think about it.
everything insults our religious or linuistic or moral sensibilities. there seems to be no respect for any other view than our own.
look at our roads for instance. in bangalore, i saw a man die when he raced on the road, trying to hurry before the red light turned green. the minute the light turns orange,from red we have people honking so rudely, bullying the guy infront to move.
traffic rules are treated with utter disregard. why are our streets so crowded and congested? it's because of US. OUR VEHICLES. OUR CARS.we blame the government for everything but don't even go out and vote.the loud minority is no longer a minority. it is all of us. shame on us

every day inspiration

for some everyday inspiration check out Dr seuss's OH! the places you'll go...
click here...

my best friends' wedding

two of my best friends recently got engaged but in very different ways and both seem very happy. let me elaborate. One of my friends got engaged to the guy she has been seeing for the past 7 years. we all knew it was going to happen. I have known the guy as well. he is a friend and my respect for him has only grown over the years.. so although I did not want my friend to get married so early and vehemently opposed it initially, I'm very happy for her.
My other friend who got engaged is very happy too and although I don't know the guy, he seems quite nice.. her's was a typical arranged marriage... she met a lot of guys through her folks... liked this one. he liked her too. within a couple of days, they were engaged. I per se do not like arranged marriages and think of them to be scary but obviously different strokes for different people. My friend was very clear from the start about the kind of man she wanted to marry and I'm very proud to say that she has not compromised on that. She spoke to the guy about all the importat things in her life. He did too.. they agreed on a lot of important things and decided that they liked each other enough... Sure they don't know each other well enough but they will by the time they get married. His family seemed very nice too.. Her parents did not force her into anything, nor was there any emotional blackmail and crazy stuff like that.
The whole experience for her was very pleasant with good results.
My own sister went through the whole "seeing guys" thing until she decided to marry her best friend. The experience she had was very difficult for my parents and herself She met a lot of jerks and losers and when she told my folks that she was going to marry her best friend whom we all knew and adored, my parents were not only immensely pleased but also a bit relieved...
As for me, Like I mentioned before, the arranged marriage jig is not my cup of tea. For now, I like being the girl who does everyone's make up.... and that will do for the next 3 years atleast...

what's right in your life?

momgrind put up a post about this. I think it's essential to look at the things that are right in our lives. helps us to stay happy and positive. A lot of things are right in my life... (touch wood).I think I have an amazing family... my folks are open minded liberal people who are responsible for the way I turned out. I have a sister and brother -in -law i can always always count on.
I have really great friends. Gautam, Shruthi, Gowri, Shetty,Anirudha, Bindu.. I've been friends with some of them for the past 20 years...( since i was 3) and they have stuck around and been there for me always. especially my school friends and Gautam.
I also think I'm happy because of me. I have a great attitude( again thanks to my folks). I have always done something when I've been unhappy. It took me a lot of courage to get rid of friends who were pulling me down, decide to study abroad or live alone now.. I have done these things to better my life...
My love for books, and learning is another thing that keeps me very happy. My blog as well.
I also think always having a plan helps. I hate rifting along aimlessly. I'm a very focused person. both professionally and personally. That's one thing that my dad taught me. Do your best, try to stick to a plan but always have a contingency and if things still don't go your way, chin up and try again or come up with a new and improved plan....
So these are the things that are right in my life.. I have to thank momgrind for putting up the post and making me want to write about it as well.

Random rani

I'm listening to rock music... I like the guitar parts
I did a few things I should have done long back. I got a great haircut. A couple of friends and I drove around till 2 am last night
I'm tired of being an alcohol virgin....( that means i never drink... haven't had a drink ever)
I read The Geometry of God and simply loved it.
Whatever your definition of a good girl is, it won't fit me.
I'm a great liar.. I don't lie often. I never lie to my mother.
Other than the people who matter a LOT to me, i can make and break promises without the least bit of remorse.
I'm an awesome cook and an awesome dancer. I have to read at least a couple of new books every month.
I never get bored when I'm alone. I care about the way I look. Clothes matter to me. I love fashion. I can talk to anyone about anything. I'm actually one of the most well informed people i know. This is not an exaggeration. I love star wars. like really really. I also love the Hindi movie Karan Arjun. I think it's one of the best movies ever. I once Mahabharath for 6 hours straight.
I'm extremely claustrophobic. I have very easy tears. i think I turned out well coz my folks are really amazing people. I have the best family ever. I think I can do anything for my sis and folks. I have the best best buddy ever. I love to gossip. i think the best place to be on earth is Mysore. Mysore Dasara rocks!I'm kinda high maintenance although I claim that I'm not...I never want to have kids. I don't like them. I wouldn't get married either if I had a choice...and I'm a feminist and very proud to be one. I abhor violence.I love tea and friends and Seinfeld( sitcoms). I have not watched Lagaan or RDB and I don't care

it's dasara and i'm stuck in bangalore! i should be in mysore...mysore is the best place to be during navrathri or atleast i think so anyway. the entire city center is illuminated and the whole atmosphere is just beautiful and so festive.
one of the best things you can do during dasara is to go to the palce a little before 7 when it's not too crowded, listen to the music concert for a while and then watch the lights come on. it's such a fantastic moment. you can then take a tonga from the palace to dev raj urs road and enjoy the lights. you can then go to chaat street, eat dry gobi and go home... the dry gobi i just mentioned is simply one of the tastiest things i have ever eaten.

funny how I can't seem to stick to the same font and color

i had gone to the SICHREM office today and i was really impressed... the work they do is just amazing... but it's also a little sad that they have fund crunch and need money badly. they also need volunteers... they educate people.. i.e children, police, the general public about human rights and also act against all kinds of human rights violations.. the passion with which they work is unbelievable.. and it's a thanklesss job.. you can get things done only if you persevere..
go on... visit their site sometime... here is the link... http://www.sichrem.org

i read purely for pleasure but sometimes i like reading intellectually stimulating stuff like Amartya Sen's The Argumentative Indian or some Bach or Paulo Coelho... So to try something new and intelligent i picked up Orhan Phamuk's My name is Red. i bought it in july and i still haven't finished it... it's so damn boring..... it's supposed to be a murder mystery with all this deep stuff about islam, miniature painting and a lot more but god.....
sometimes i think i should just stick to my mom's advice... she being an avid reader herself told me
this... almost all critically acclaimed books suck...
i think it's the same with art movies and cheese.... both are acquired tastes....

thank god i'm in india because....

1. there is no abortion debate. no "pro life" groups telling me to keep my baby because thats what God intended.
2. no sex scandals about politicians splashed across every news paper... their personal lives are just that. personal.
3. amazing diversity in food...
4. soft drinks haven't replaced water..
5. you don't have to worry about your 12 year old posting sexually explicit pictures of herself on the net
   

i watched wall-e last weekend and it's brilliant...
i wish bollywood would come up with awesome stuff like that... instead all we have is unoriginal, uninspiring, insipid crap...
no no.. i'm not one of those snooty people who don't watch hindi movies... i love hindi movies i just wish they were a little more authentic and original...
i was talking to my dad about this and he told me another curious but sad thing,..
there are no examples of geat new indian architecture which is terrible... are we so creatively deficient? even content on television is so dull.... and all the reality shows are either inspired or copied from american shows...

why feminism

How is feminism still relevant in 21st century India? Women seem to have made great progress. The middle class Indian woman has never had it better.
She can study, she can work, and she can aspire to be whatever she wants. Since this is the idea most young women have, the idea of feminism seems irrelevant and even outdated.
To understand the relevance of feminism, we must first understand what feminism is. The word feminist comes attached with a lot of preconceived notions. A feminist is someone who simply believes that men and women are equal. Nothing more, nothing less. And feminism is about women making their own choices, standing up for those choices and accepting the outcomes of them. How can that be irrelevant or outdated?
Beyond the glossy picture of liberated young women who live the way they want to, there lies a harder, harsher reality. Even today we struggle to live a life we choose, constantly justifying our choices and looking for validations and approval. It is still not OK to be single after a certain age, premarital sex is a big no no and a single woman with an active sex life? God forbid!
Women in small towns and cities are not safe using public transport.
We still get groped and abused when we use public transport or attend a crowded event like a concert or a game. We constantly have to be on the alert and in more cases than not, we will be misbehaved with. Our problems do not end here. The number of rape and molestation cases has grown exponentially over the years and the conviction rates are abysmally low. The lack of sensitivity among law enforcement agencies while dealing with such cases is disturbing. The Mumbai New Years Eve molestation case is only one among the thousands others. A large section of society tended to blame the women themselves. Another such example was when the crowd misbehaved with the IPL cheer leaders, the authorities claimed that the women were themselves to blame because of their "provocative clothes”. This "asked for it" mentality clearly demonstrates that the 21st century Indian society is not quite equipped to handle the 21st century Indian woman. read more .Anytime a crowd or a mob misbehaves with a woman, the focus is inevitably on the question why rather than the incident itself. She was a little drunk, she really shouldn't be dressed like that, she shouldn't be going to such places...A few common arguments that we always hear. All of this makes us feel as though gender sensitivity and gender equality are rather distant dreams.
Stereotyping women and gender roles in the media is another very serious problem. Take any movie where a child has an important role to play. The little boy is naughty and clever and adventurous while the little girl is portrayed as sweet, caring and good.
Look at the ads... the little boy comes to his dad with his first salary, the little boy tells the dad that he has more letters and the insurance scheme is called "baap ka naam roshan karega"! The boys want to be pilots, doctors lawyers, the girls want to be teachers, nurses or models.
In cartoons and comic books, there are no popular super heroines and almost all well known children's literature has male protagonists.
Whether media influences society or society influences media, gender stereotyping is a dangerous trend.
The lack of women in upper and middle management roles in corporate India is glaring. This has more to do with attitudes and perceptions of the decision makers than a lack of talent among women. “They don't network enough, they don't put in long hours”... a few common arguments we hear but perhaps a revision of the necessary parameters considered for these posts has to change.
A majority of the women in this country still live the life forced on them by their fathers, husbands, and society. The privileged few of us who live the lives we choose are the exception rather than the rule. Until every woman is independent and free, until every girl born is welcomed into the world without feelings of burden and despair, feminism will be relevant.
When people ask about the relevance of feminism, the question that must be asked and answered is, sure we have a voice but are we being heard.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

correction: the book i mentioned is 'girls of riyadh'.

ok to all you people reading my blog,i'm sorry for not posting for a very long time. i was a little busy.
ok... fine.. i'm lying... i was lazy....
before i post about anything new,i have a few things to share
1. i actually got a haircut.
2. bought a coloring book and a box of 48 crayons. coloring almost everyday.
3. learnt to make pulav.
4. read daughters of riyadh! amazing book.. i recommend it to everyone.