is it the end of feminism?most people seem to agree. when i tell people that I'm a feminist they think I'm being an idiot. after all it's the new millennium... the age of the liberated woman. it's the age of easy money,binge drinking,designer labels and multiple sex partners (it's called sexual freedom these days??!!)
liberated???yeah right!!if this is freedom i wonder what the opposite means.if we are truly liberated how come our streets and cities have not become safer for women?why do we still have those stereotypes?why do more girls than ever before suffer from low self esteem? and why do we still have to "turn off "the lights? i thought we were in charge!!!!
so what's my point?
my point is we still have quite a few problems.. gender equality and gender sensitivity are still distant goals. objectifying women as sexual objects has reached an all time high and the worst part is we seem to be getting used to it.we think it's OK when we feel that it's not. fad diets are still a rage and wanting to lose a few pounds seems to be the ambition of most women i meet.
and role models........ it's Jessica Simpson and Britney spears. it's not Oprah or Hillary Clinton and it's certainly not Serena Williams.
liberated? think again. we constantly dumb ourselves down to please the unsuitable and unprepared men in our lives and the only important thing is that i get the cute bag featured in this month's Cosmo.
domestic violence, eve teasing, sexual harassment.., 'don't be such a bore darling it's not our problem'. and the women's studies section in the nearest book store contains books like " 21 ways to make your man happy" and " a girl's guide to breaking up without baggage".
equal pay, gender sensitivity in the work place and domestic violence....?non issues. not because all that is absent our worlds but because we're too full of ourselves to care!
yes, it is the best time to be born as a girl in most parts of the world because we have all the privileges our previous generation fought for. we have the power of education, we have economic and financial independence and most importantly we have a voice. maybe now is the time to actually use it.

one of my friends sent me this mail. makes you think.....

The Heterosexual Questionnaire

Attributed to Martin Rochlin, Ph.D.
January 1977

(unpublished and not copyrighted)

Most LGBT people are put, all too frequently, into situations where they have to defend their sexuality. This places a considerable burden on people who resent feeling they need to justify or explain their sexual lifestyle. To help non-LGBT people understand how it feels to be placed in such a situation, the following questionnaire was devised, which is based on “heterophobic” premises, rather than homophobic premises, which exist chronically in our society.

Please try to answer the following questions as honestly as possible. It's going to be hard. That's the whole point.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failure in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?

7. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know that you wouldn't prefer that?

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me so long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

11. If you should choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive, heterosexual object choice, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role playing?

16. How can you enjoy a fully satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex, when the obvious, biological, and temperamental differences between you are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman sexually, or vice versa?

17. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

18. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

19. Shouldn't you ask the fringe straight types, like swingers, Hell's Angels, and Jesus freaks, to conform more? Wouldn't that improve your image?

20. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?

21. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

22. Do heterosexuals hate or distrust others of the same sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

23. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

24. Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective and unbiased? Don't you fear he/she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own feelings?

If you really took this questionnaire seriously, right now, you're probably feeling a bit depressed, defensive, and maybe even a little ashamed. Well, now imagine that this were real, not just a little exercise. Rather, it was all of society, your family, your friends asking you these questions and really wanting the answers. Not only is your own knowledge of your own sexuality, feelings, and body questioned, but now you must defend a whole group of people who happen to have one similarity with you, most of whom you've never even meet because to fail to do so in any way, in anyone's eyes is to say that you are *fill in the stereotype or negative image*, just like they are.

Now you have a better idea of how LGBT persons feel every day. The only differences are that you only felt this way for a few minutes and now you can go back to a world of acceptance. This is not a temporary experience for LGBT persons who can't turn it off and find a world of acceptance. They still have to answer these questions and many more each and every day.

I hope that you have learned something from this experience. It's always very hard to truly understand how another person feels until you are in their shoes. That is what this exercise was about. It was never intended to actually make you believe that your sexuality is wrong or that you have to defend it in anyway, but rather to give you a better idea of how LGBT persons feel when they are made to feel guilty and forced to defend our own life and sexuality to people they don't even know.

I hope that the next time you hear someone saying something like what you read above in this questionnaire, you will remember how you felt when it was you in that place and that you will have not only compassion (which you probably had to begin with since you are reading this), but also a little more understanding. This is a big world and there is plenty of room for all kinds of people in it! So, please, celebrate diversity and support the right of all people to live, love, and be happy without question and without having to defend the gender of the person that they share their life with!

"if you are not a dreamer you certainly will not be an achiever"

you have a problem with self esteem if:

1. your own self esteem is built by trashing others';
2. you cant think of anything special about yourself when you don't compare yourself with others;
3. you judge the world around you and think you are better than the rest of the world;
4. when you dramatize events in your head and act up on it in real life to get more attention;
5. your friends treat you horribly but you can't see it for yourself or worse you see it but think it is OK;
6. you have sex to make someone love you even when you re not ready;
7. you act as though you own the world but can't take even the slightest criticism in the right spirit;
8. you read this and feel that i have no idea what i'm talking about.

pablo picasso said 'god is ,above all , an artist. he invented the giraffe, the elephant and the ant. he never tried to follow a particular style. he simply kept on doing what he felt like doing.'

true achievers in life are those who are always on the path of self-improvement and self-realization.by achiever i don't mean 'CEO', i mean people who are happy about themselves and their lives and in peace with the universe.
self-improvement is a constant and exciting journey. it helps us become the kind of people we wish to be. self-improvement can mean different things to different people but the important part is to go about it.
telling yourself and the universe that 'this is the way i am' is not only self-defeating but also downright lazy.it is a lame excuse for not doing the things you want to do and not being the person you want be....

life is so beautiful and mysterious and what better way to celebrate life than to celebrate your own b'day. i love birthdays. they are so festive and joyous, especially my own.i don't like surprises but every year on my birthday someone or the other surprises me .. i tend to surprise myself too because on each birthday i learn something nice and new about myself that i like.
i believe that all of us are children of god and that itself makes us so special and i simply cannot understand when people say that 'it's not a big deal' when it comes to their birthdays.. of course it's a big deal. this is the day YOU were born.. this is the day your friends and parents were blessed with a special person who would change their life ...
every year on my birthday at midnight my friends call, my mom wishes me and in midst of all this i take a moment to wish myself for i am the most important person in my life and i deserve to wish myself all the happiness there can be. i also say a little prayer thanking Him for making the year that passed so wonderful. i also thank Him for the special people in my life for they have made my life more beautiful. i also feel that i should thank Him for myself.. because it is that which lies inside of me that makes me wonderful and special, that brought special people in to my life.. each year i think of the lessons that i have learnt and pray for more courage, more compassion and a little more hope.
happy birthday to me....

some people don't think. they don't care. they refuse to see beyond their own worlds. i ask you,how is this possible? people around us are suffering, dying, experiencing miracles or doing great things. how can any of this not deserve any thought.human beings are selfish and celf-centred. yes we must think of ourselves first because noone else will do so in this dog eat dog world of ours but this does not mean we shouldn't step out of the narrow confines of our own worlds.
empathy is a beautiful quality found only in human beings. yet we do the best we can to repress and ignore this quality until it dies.all great men in the history of mankind had been blessed with empathy. this made them think beyond the mundane struggles of everyday life and enabled them to do great things.
if gandhi hadn't thought of the nation as a whole would freedom be a reality? if mandela had not thought of the pain of the blacks and runaway from his motherland like so many others, would he be considered a legend? if the world had thought about the plight of the jews, couldn't one of the greatest tragedies of civilization been averted?
yes. empathy makes us makes human. to feel the pain of another human makes us think beyond our little safe worlds.only when you feel pain can you even think of alleviating it. it helps us become the person we want to be but dare not. it helps us feel great joy when it isn't actually our own and makes us feel pain that is quite faraway.
empathy makes us better, happier and thinking human beings.

recently i had the privilege of being a part of something wonderful. the college ed board( specifically gautam) decided to organize a literary fest-shabd. i had the honour of being a part of the organizing committee because despite my indifference towards the universe in general, gautam saw me as a capable and competent woman.
the entire core committee worked so well as a team.everyone did what they were supposed to without any interference from the 'dictator' including lazy ol me.it truely was teamwork at its best.
it was a great example of a capable leader leading a team of efficient and enthusiastic people.
everyone in the core committee was wonderful and even though my interaction with them was minimal,it was great fun. they all came across as warm and intelligent people waiting to go places in life. my own team which had a lot of work on 'the' day was fabulous. the girls worked relentlessly all morning without a break and not once did they complain or give me a hard time.
at the end of the day the fest was a success and we all went home tired but very happy and proud for being a part of something truely amazing.it was one of the best experiences of my life.
cheers to the shabd team because it was a job well done and cheers to you my best friend because you realized the meaning of being a leader.

"The issue of women's advancement through reproductive freedom is not, and must not become, a moral question about the foetus. It is an economic, logistical, practical, and political question. Feminists, whether personally opposed to abortion or not, must fight for reproductive freedom (including access to safe, legal and accessible abortion) for all women. This is a necessary and critical component of feminist agenda."

read this on a e-zine.. totally agree. abortion rights must not become moral or ethical issues. every woman is resposible for her own body. she and only she can decide what is best for her..
no government or family member should make the decision on her behalf.
give her the choice for it is not yours to take away.....

i got this mail and i thought that it was beautiful

. . . she is.........

truth

everyone said it was true love and she believed it too. not because they were so convincing but because she wanted to. everyone said 'don't leave him. he's wonderful' . she left him, not because he had done something to her but because if she stayed with him any longer, he would completely destroy her.
not physically of course. he knew that she would kill him if he hurt her but he was destroying her spirit, slowly but surely killing it, taking away any sense of self worth that she had.she was no longer the person she knew she was.she could take it no longer now. that's when she saw the truth.
it had been there, staring at her face, right in front of her waiting for her to sense it, see it, know it and believe it.she saw the truth not because it was there or that someone showed it to her but because shae wanted to. She had to.
she told him that she was leaving and he said he was sorry. sorry for what? he didn't know. he just didn't want her to go. not because he loved her... of course he didn't love her. they both knew that.
rather,it was like a hunter not wanting his prey to escape.he called after but she kept walking, not looking back. she knew that this time if she looked back, she would be stuck there, with him, bound by his shackles forever. you see, for this was not the first time she had tried to break free but she had always gone back. gone back to him.
this time it was differrent. the truth was the difference. the truth that he had used her, that he had hurt her and did not and never would love her the way she wanted.. the truth that she had always known but too afraid to acknowledge set her free.
she walked away and then broke into a run, not because she was afraid but because she could.she was free. the truth had set her free.

intolerance

religion. thats right.religion. no other topic anywhere in the world can spark as much controversy as religion which is really surprising because the essence of almost all religions practised around the world is the same. all religions preach universal values of justice, compassion and equality. human beings murder fellow human beings in the name of religion.im very sure that no religion condones the use of violence especially aginst unarmed, innocent beings.tolerance is another virtue preached by all religions yet this is one quality that we as human beings,intelligent and supposedly rational beings are increasingly begining to lack.
forget talking about tolerance towards other cultures or races or anything big like that. just ask yourself a simple question. even in an argument with like minded individuals who share your background, how many of us can actually listen to something that is radically different from what we think? how many of us can say that we have never been dismissive of another person's ideas? how many of us can say that we have never shouted down another person in a friendly argument? our intollerant attitudes are reflected in our leaders. thats why there is so much conflict in today's world. in a recent article in the hindu(dated 9 aug 2006),jackie ashley says there is a battle of ideas going on in today's world and we cannot escape or walk away but we cant attempt to kill ideas with guns either. our basic intolerance towards other ideas and beliefs is what has made our world so scary and unsafe today.
intolerance has been the major reason for some of the greatest catastrophes in the history of mankind. wwII happend because of one man's intolerance towards the rest of the world. just imagine where our collective intolerance might lead us to?

men??

are all men really that stupid or do they just act so thinking that women might feel bad if we find out that they re as smart as we are. well, if that's the case boys... good job. we don't have a clue.U rea...lly have us fooled!!!and whats with the ' what do women really want' ,crap?? nothing much really. a little bit of sensitivity, a little bit of intelligence and a little less body odour. is that so difficult to give? then there is all that about 'what she really means?'
NEWS FLASH!!!! she might actually mean what she says......
most men claim that they are not chauvinists but then when u say u want to pursue an MBA in marketing they say "wont that be too hectic especially for a girl?"....yeah not chauvinistic at all....

wisegirl109

I'm so excited.this is the first time I'm blogging and I think its great. My friends say that i have an opinion about everything. For instance statistics. whenever u come across statistics, any kind of statistics,ever observe the numbers u see? they are all strange, random numbers like 1123,496,314.never numbers like 100,450,10000. never numbers u or me or any almost normal human being can remember.and those statistics quoting freaks...... well, i think they are all making it up. its not like anyone is ever going to remember a number like 38951043 and verify..