The post that you are about to read is a guest post by my friend, Gautam Ramdurai.
I made the decision - I joined the Sri Rama Sene. Boy, it feels great to be me now! And all the media attention just sweetens the experience. 'How's it been?' you ask. I'll tell you.
Today was a very eventful and satisfactory day. I got up this morning and realized something very profound - that "toothpaste" is part of western civilization, so I obviously couldn't use it - at least not on my first day as a Ram Sainik. I go out, musty breathed, looking for neem trees or dant manjan - the former is out of question as almost all the trees in my area have been cut down(wonder what our leader has to say about that - will ask him next time)...but the nearest shop is 'DeSilva's Grocery Store' - and I DARE not buy dant manjan from a non-hindu store!
The next few hours were spent battling the desire to use other westernized imports such as soap, fan, electricity in general...you get the drift. Somehow, I make it to office. Let me tell you a secret - my employer's HQ are in the US, so I'll probably quit soon. Won't want my fellow sainiks think I'm a traitor who thinks his survival is more important than his faith!
Anyway, then I chalked out an elaborate plan to attack my boss - who has dared to go against our code - she doesn't wear Indian clothes, NOT EVEN A BINDI!!! She has a mind of her own and most shocking of all, she likes being independant - can you believe that??? An INDIAN WOMAN, and yet the audacity to be herself!! I would never stand for that.
I call my dad and ask him to ask my mom to quit her job - I cannot have such practices in my own house when my fellow sainiks are toiling hard to uproot the westernness in society. Tomorrow we plan to storm a school nearby because it teaches the children to be independant and free thinkers. Did I mention that I hit every girl on the road who lacks or isn't wearing any of the following - a bindi, a sari, a salwar, bangles, tied up hair, ghoongat. How dare they use make-up? BTW, we are also going to storm beauty parlours - all western - chee!!
Yessir, all in a day's work for a sainik. Doesn't all that just make you wann get up and come running to the sene office to join me and my friends? I bet you do!!!
Come, leave progress behind! Come, leave freedom(others') behind! Come let's become terrorists, come let's build an 'indian' India!
Let us Quell. Let us Maul. Let us Torture. Till our dreams are realised. Long live the Sene!