02-Feb-2009

A day in the life of a Sri Ram Sainik

The post that you are about to read is a guest post by my friend, Gautam Ramdurai.

I
made the decision - I joined the Sri Rama Sene. Boy, it feels great to be me now! And all the media attention just sweetens the experience. 'How's it been?' you ask. I'll tell you.

Today was a very eventful and satisfactory day. I got up this morning and realized something very profound - that "toothpaste" is part of western civilization, so I obviously couldn't use it - at least not on my first day as a Ram Sainik. I go out, musty breathed, looking for
neem trees or dant manjan - the former is out of question as almost all the trees in my area have been cut down(wonder what our leader has to say about that - will ask him next time)...but the nearest shop is 'DeSilva's Grocery Store' - and I DARE not buy dant manjan from a non-hindu store!

The next few hours were spent battling the desire to use other westernized imports such as soap, fan, electricity in general...you get the drift. Somehow, I make it to office. Let me tell you a secret - my employer's HQ are in the US, so I'll probably quit soon. Won't want my fellow sainiks think I'm a traitor who thinks his survival is more important than his faith!

Anyway, then I chalked out an elaborate plan to attack my boss - who has dared to go against our code - she doesn't wear Indian clothes, NOT EVEN A
BINDI!!! She has a mind of her own and most shocking of all, she likes being independant - can you believe that??? An INDIAN WOMAN, and yet the audacity to be herself!! I would never stand for that.

I call my dad and ask him to ask my mom to quit her job - I cannot have such practices in my own house when my fellow sainiks are toiling hard to uproot the westernness in society. Tomorrow we plan to storm a school nearby because it teaches the children to be independant and free thinkers. Did I mention that I hit every girl on the road who lacks or isn't wearing any of the following - a bindi, a sari, a salwar, bangles, tied up hair, ghoongat. How dare they use make-up? BTW, we are also going to storm beauty parlours - all western - chee!!

Yessir, all in a day's work for a sainik. Doesn't all that just make you wann get up and come running to the
sene office to join me and my friends? I bet you do!!!

Come, leave progress behind! Come, leave freedom(others') behind! Come let's become terrorists, come let's build an 'indian' India!

Let us Quell. Let us Maul. Let us Torture. Till our dreams are realised. Long live the Sene!


10 comments:

Indian Home Maker said...

Let me change from these Western Denims into my an Indian sari and I will there.

Keep a stock of bindis and bangles, many of us may have none at home!

But a good News, I heard (finally) Ms renuka Chowdhury condeming in strong words the 'prediated attacks on these children' and she said women in mangalore are not feeling safe, and she said (best of all) "of course I am not afraid to fight!" So maybe we'll end up joining a Lakshmi bai or Durga Sena :)Or Sita sena, I read on a blog that Sita in her anger caused an Earth Quake and Draupadi had anger enough to teach a hundred Kauravas a lesson!
But we don't even need all this, we'll just make sure that we uphold the law of the land :)
Brilliant post, see how you made me think and ramble!!

Gautam Ramdurai said...

How I would love to respond to you as a 'real' sainik.

But honestly, jus lemme know - I'll be the first one to join your kind of sena!

Ok - I can't resist this....
Ram sainik in me sez "Good. you woman have realized your place and take care of babies - I'm glad you accept this not talibanization but being true to great Indian culture of glorified chauvanism ( i am illiterate and do not know what that means, but people say it suits us) Thank You!"

Pixie said...

Geez!!
You both are nuts!!!

I loved the post by the way!! :-D

And you woke me up in the middle of the night to "make me understand" my duties as an "Indian Woman"!! Thank you! :D


The anon commentor from my blog will be very happy reading this! :P

ciMpLy KJ said...

Loved the post .. but I cant comment more coz now, I dont like these non Indian PCs. Let me go, find a "Made in India" PC and post more .. lol ..

Anirudh said...

hey Gautam..good post! I hope that this post reaches Yeddi and the ram sene head and puts some sense in their brain. 21st century woman is independent and confident. you cant take that away from them! so, let them be! :)

Apurva said...

Hey nice post..came across your blog through mtv site..newaz good quality writing..keep up the good work!cheers!

wisegirl said...

@apurva
Thank u! keep visiting...

choco said...

Way to go!!! Now that you are there, maybe you could introduce them to the world of books and blogs. You know widen their horizon and thinking...

On a more serious note, the whole episode with the MLA's daughter just shows that they feel they are on the right track and no one can stop them.

mohit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gautam Ramdurai said...

@Mohit Being a "fagg*t" has got nothing to do with misogyny! You use it as though it's something derogatory.