13-Feb-2009

ME

today i went to a shopping mall to buy clothes, and one thing that struck me was that a lot of people in the malls are 17 to 19 year olds and wow.. they're so stylish. and they all seem to have a lot of money to spend.....
my dad gave me my own debit card when I was 17... It was to teach me money management and give me a sense of financial independence. He would deposit 500 rs every month. it was to cover all my expenses... no extras. nobody ever asked me how I spent my money. I could do whatever I damn pleased with it but absolutely no extras.
Clothes and looks were the last things on my mind. I was so involved in studies and tuition and storybooks and tv that i never thought about clothes. My friends were just like me. i either went to some friend's house or hung out in college. Pizza in US pizza next to college would be the highlight of that quarter... otherwise shetty and I would bunk language classes and eat bad masala puri nearby. Or we both would go to my place or hers. My mom said I could bunk classes if I wanted but it was my responsibility not to get any attendance shortage and I always had to get good marks. She never asked any questins if i behaved well and studied well.
For 2 years in 11th and 12th, my life was college, 6 friends, my sis and folks, studies and tv. Every single day, I would get up at 6 and study till 7:30. I could stay out only till 6:30 in the evening. I couldn't talk to boys on the phone after 7 pm. I have no idea why but it was strictly followed. My folks never said no boys. they just wouldn't let me talk to boys after 7pm.
i would study till dinner. then watch tv. anything i wanted... there was never any kind of censorship at my place but i generally watched news with my dad and watched something on Star World with my mom and sis. During holidays I could do anything i wanted. I mean anything. i could stay up all night, watch tv, read, play computer games, wake up late, go out ....
When I started my undergraduate degree, I was lost... It seemed like I came from a very small world. There was so much presure to dress a certain way, act a certain way... plus i did not quite fit in with any kind of group. i thought all the boys i knew were really stupid, so i didn't care about boys and i was sure the girls i hung out thought i was total joke. There were no more rules at home except the 6:30 one. i still had to go home early in the evenings.
things slowly started improving. i made actual friends, had a lot of fun and managed to do well in all my courses.
what is my point???? nothing really. the confidence that i have today is hard earned. so is the trust my folks have in me... When I see these teenagers who have everything, who look so worldly wise, i can't help but wonder if they're missing out on some character building that I had...

5 comments:

Pixie said...

hmmm... yes, we did have a lot of character building and yes, even back then we saw these self assured kids our age who had everything... i'm not too sure how well they are managing or enjoying their lives now...

Vered - MomGrind said...

Your parents did a very good job with you. I loved reading about how they raised you.

wisegirl said...

@ vered
thank you very much...

Indian Home Maker said...

Wow! I am learning some lessons from the way you were raised. I like the idea of letting you spend a fixed sum of money to let you learn about money!

And total freedom during holidays is also great ... I tend to tell my kids to wake up if they keep sleeping till too late ...
And we aslo have a time limit for any calls from boys, it's flexible but generally no calls after dinner...

talk&tell said...

Nice observation. You seem to have been raised in a protected environment or perhaps in a strict environment. Lets have a bite of my side. I nearly had the same deadlines like you, but in college, i did fit in all kinds of group. My character building happened when i stepped into college. My question - how does your being raised well, matter here? Young lady, its time now for you to make your own niche, you still seem to be dependent on your parents to form that for you. Please Don't.
PEACE