questions, answers and prayers

I haven't said anything about the Mumbai terror attacks. I have just been taking in all the information, wondering and thinking. Today, i had gone out for dinner with my sis and brother-in-law. While eating in this nice and crowded restaurant, a sudden thought struck me. we were sitting at a table in the middle and directly in front of the entrance. what if someone came in and started firing at us suddenly... where would we run? where would we hide? while all the so called important people in this country politicians, beaurocrats, cricketers and actors have enhanced security, what about us plain old ordinary folk? who will guard us? who will protect us?
this is not rheotoric. this is a genuine question that i am asking.
i have many such questions.
are our politicians really that callous? one day Hemanth Karkare is a traitor, his integrity is questioned, the next day he is hailed by the same people as a martyr who died for this country. are our politicians really this callous? i ask once again.
did our movie stars and cricketers do something when this happened? did they rush to hospitals, did they comfort people? what did they do other than issue statements?
where was the Shiv sena? where were the MNS activists? what did they do to help?
the people of every country deserve their politicians. do we deserve ours? after all we vote for them. we vote for them for various reasons. he is of my caste. he is of my religion. he belongs to this area....
one day we hate Narendra Modi. the next day, we forget his alleged mistakes and hail him as the next best thing.
did the terrorists belong to pakistan? maybe... all evidence till date points in that direction but so what? yes so what!!
so they belonged to pakistan, so they were trained there, so they came with concrete plans... what about us? what did we do???
the collective response of our gvernment machinery is a reflection of our psyche as a country.
We hate rules, don't we? we hate queues, we don't care about traffic rules, we generally don;t bother voting, we hate it when our bags are checked, when we have to carry ids...
we don't even like it when the govt asks us to wear helmets.
so we find a shortcut for everything. we pay our way out of trouble. our "chalta hai" attitude is reflected in the response of our officials, when there were intelligence reports of terrorist activities...
perhaps, we must take a long, hard look at ourselves as a nation, as a society first. then we can point fingers at our netas, at pakistan and everyone else.

i pray for peace and recovery of the city whose soul was damaged, i pray for peace for the families of the brave men who died fighting for us, for the unfortunate victims. i pray for us as a nation to heal and more importantly learn the bitter lessons that this attack has taught us. I finally hope and pray for peace and justice


another book

I started reading what is the what, a book about a boy who runs away from the civil war in Sudan. It is such an amazing book. and the story itself is so touching... As i read the book, I realized that I know very little about Africa, its present or history. I'm hoping to change that. I've started reading up on the conflict in Sudan, Somalia and Rwanda.
The violence that has ravaged the continent is heart rending. I'm not going to get into who caused it but the one thing I realized was that wherever there is war, it is the women who pay the biggest price. rape and abduction are used as weapons and their use is very widespread. This is exactly the reason why we must have more women in governing and decision making positions.


Funny that people believe in God but not aliens...


I love lists! so this is my top 5 all!

favourite movies:
1. all star wars!!!!
2. sabrina
3. shrek2
4. karan arjun
5.mona lisa smile

also considerd wall-e, 300, hum aapke hain koun, vivaah, baby's day out

favourite books of 2007-08
1. the geometry of gods
2. girls of riyadh
3. playing for pizza
4. almost single
5. shantaram

favourite songs:
not much of a music person...
anything but hard rock
whatever is on Gautam's playlist

favourite food:
1. huli that my mom makes
2. huli that my sis makes
3. alu paratha
4. dal that i make
5. spaghetti at casa piccola (putenesca)

also considered:
ice cream, mixed fruit juice in office, thin crust veggie pizza at indie joe, doughnuts

favourite activities:
1. reading
2. drinking tea
3. watching tv
4. blogging
5. making up dumb songs and singing them all day!

favourite places:(outdoor)
1.mys dasara exhibition
2. mysore palace
3. MG road before the metro work began in bangalore
4. the double road near my place in mysore where eli and I always took walks
5. sjce college campus


happy happy

I'm a very happy person. touchwood. here are my golden rules for happiness
1. love without fear.
the worst thing that can happen to anyone in love is getting rejected or heart broken... so what?? you grieve for a while and then you move on.... i have experienced both and trust me, it's not such a big deal. and dear god... you will fall in love again.

2. do the things that you love doing.
it doesn't matter whether you're good at it or not. I love coloring and although i can't stay inside the lines and my pictures look juvenile at best, i still do it because it's fun and i love it. same with my singing

3. don't fear failure.
a lot of people don't do the things they want to because they far failing...you don't make your dreams come true only by dreaming... do something about it.

4. don't judge others and don't judge yourself. open your mind a little. the "my way or the highway attitude" makes you a loser because others don't care.

5. get rid of the guilt.
we all do things we are not proud of. it's ok.

6.don't make excuses even before you begin...
i'm not taking the exam seriously this year... then why are you writing it... i don't know if i'll get that promotion.. my boss hates me...

by making yourself excuses, you are giving yourself the wrong message. you are telling yourself that it's ok not to do your best because you already have an excuse ready

7. don't blame your folks...
you are responsible f0r who and what you are after 18.... get over it!

8. don't intentionally harm others... you will pay.

9. don't be superstitious if you can help it.

Are you a happy person? tell me what makes you happy......


empowerment??? right...

ok! I hate all relationship advice that all those glossies dish out, especially to men!!! It's annoying. Bloody annoying...
i just read the following stuff on some site... won't tell you which one.
1. "share the housework fellas.. if u do, you get more sex"!!! seriously.....
I don't think we should be trading housework for sex... if the man doesn't do his share... kick him out!!!!
i thought in this day and age, it is a given thing that a man share the housework.... my sis was stay at home for a couple of months and even then my brother -in-law had to help at home..... it was a given thing....
my dad taught my mom to cook... dunno....
2."don't say anything about the shoe habit!!!"
i was like what the f#@$$!!!
if it's my money, i'll spend it any darn way i want, and if it's his money... of course he can say something... it's his money!!!!!

i can go on with this but my point is if this is the stuff dished out in every magazine and every web site.... doesn't it undermine the whole equal rights argument...
and then especially in India, we have a lot of successful female celebrities saying stuff like, "in the end i'm just a simple indian girl who wants to marry and settle down"
then why in the name of the sweet lord do u work 18 hours a day , 7 days a week... for once i'd like someone to say, i love being famous. i'm dead ambitious and i worked very hard to get here!
This is why i respect kareena kapoor! she makes no bones about the fact that she loves being at the top and what she does....
sorry about the abrupt ending but thats just it!


harry potter mania.. still not over:)

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

You are Hermione. You're a bookworm always in search of answers. When pressed, however, you can always be counted on to put away the books and help your friends.

Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com


pretty young dumb thing

when i was 12, the mother of a friend told me very nicely that i should start using fair and lovely... I said no thanks....I don't think I ever felt bad about the way I looked until I came to engineering... Even then, I knew it was a passing phase and didn't bother too much...
yesterday, I read in newspapers that young girls (12 to 17) get their hands and legs waxed, get their eyebrows plucked and worry about their weight and shop for the latest fashion... here... in India...
I saw a little girl asking her mom for a princess dress in the mall...
when did things change so much??? I thought girls that age worried about boys and studies and books and stuff... not their looks!
I think the media plays a role too... all those air brushed celebrity pictures bombarding us all the time! And girls that age really get influenced quickly...
I worry about how it will be, when I have kids...
There's another thing that i see a lot... A lot of girls dumb themselves down in the work place, with their boy friends...I just hope that it's a passing phase.... I thought smart was in.... i seem out of touch with reality......
young girls are increasingly getting judged on what they have and what they look like rather than what they are or can become. I think that's just sad....
young girls have so many opportunities today and this negative trend might just reverse all that...
If I decide to have kids and my kid is a young girl, I hope I can teach her to be smart, ambitious and sensible and compassionate.... like my mom did....



now bollywood isn't exactly progressive and its portrayal of women can be called atleast regressive.
none of the heroines have serious careers.. it was so much better in the 70s. take kaala pathar for example. of the three heroines, rakhi was a doctor, parveen babi was a journalist...
I can't remember the last recent movie that i watched where the heroine had something to do other than to look good.
all ambitious women are bad. they either end up dead or as losers.
ambitious women tend be lonely.
ambitious women make bad mothers...
whether society is influenced by movies or vice versa, i see a dangerous trend here


To all you pessimists out there.... this is specially for you
"Be careful how you think. Your life is shaped by your thoughts"
-Proverbs 4:23


happy diwali

On a happier note... I wish all of you a very happy diwali. Hope this diwali brings you peace and happiness.

A country of bullies

we are a nation of bullies. there i said it!! it's my way or the highway. this is one of the main reasons political debate has stooped to an all time low. lok sabha met only 25 times this year. there has been virtuallyno debate on anything. opposition mps disrupt parliament for every issue and every crisis. in a time when this country is facing economic and terror threats, our politicians set a wonderful example by simply not listening to anything anyone else is saying.
Today I watched a discussion on tv about the communalization of the terror threat. the 4 "esteemed" panellists did not hear out each other or the anchor. each was trying to shout down the other. intolerance in public spaces is growing at an alarming rate and we're too self satisfied and smug to even think about it.
everything insults our religious or linuistic or moral sensibilities. there seems to be no respect for any other view than our own.
look at our roads for instance. in bangalore, i saw a man die when he raced on the road, trying to hurry before the red light turned green. the minute the light turns orange,from red we have people honking so rudely, bullying the guy infront to move.
traffic rules are treated with utter disregard. why are our streets so crowded and congested? it's because of US. OUR VEHICLES. OUR CARS.we blame the government for everything but don't even go out and vote.the loud minority is no longer a minority. it is all of us. shame on us


every day inspiration

for some everyday inspiration check out Dr seuss's OH! the places you'll go...
click here...


my best friends' wedding

two of my best friends recently got engaged but in very different ways and both seem very happy. let me elaborate. One of my friends got engaged to the guy she has been seeing for the past 7 years. we all knew it was going to happen. I have known the guy as well. he is a friend and my respect for him has only grown over the years.. so although I did not want my friend to get married so early and vehemently opposed it initially, I'm very happy for her.
My other friend who got engaged is very happy too and although I don't know the guy, he seems quite nice.. her's was a typical arranged marriage... she met a lot of guys through her folks... liked this one. he liked her too. within a couple of days, they were engaged. I per se do not like arranged marriages and think of them to be scary but obviously different strokes for different people. My friend was very clear from the start about the kind of man she wanted to marry and I'm very proud to say that she has not compromised on that. She spoke to the guy about all the importat things in her life. He did too.. they agreed on a lot of important things and decided that they liked each other enough... Sure they don't know each other well enough but they will by the time they get married. His family seemed very nice too.. Her parents did not force her into anything, nor was there any emotional blackmail and crazy stuff like that.
The whole experience for her was very pleasant with good results.
My own sister went through the whole "seeing guys" thing until she decided to marry her best friend. The experience she had was very difficult for my parents and herself She met a lot of jerks and losers and when she told my folks that she was going to marry her best friend whom we all knew and adored, my parents were not only immensely pleased but also a bit relieved...
As for me, Like I mentioned before, the arranged marriage jig is not my cup of tea. For now, I like being the girl who does everyone's make up.... and that will do for the next 3 years atleast...

what's right in your life?

momgrind put up a post about this. I think it's essential to look at the things that are right in our lives. helps us to stay happy and positive. A lot of things are right in my life... (touch wood).I think I have an amazing family... my folks are open minded liberal people who are responsible for the way I turned out. I have a sister and brother -in -law i can always always count on.
I have really great friends. Gautam, Shruthi, Gowri, Shetty,Anirudha, Bindu.. I've been friends with some of them for the past 20 years...( since i was 3) and they have stuck around and been there for me always. especially my school friends and Gautam.
I also think I'm happy because of me. I have a great attitude( again thanks to my folks). I have always done something when I've been unhappy. It took me a lot of courage to get rid of friends who were pulling me down, decide to study abroad or live alone now.. I have done these things to better my life...
My love for books, and learning is another thing that keeps me very happy. My blog as well.
I also think always having a plan helps. I hate rifting along aimlessly. I'm a very focused person. both professionally and personally. That's one thing that my dad taught me. Do your best, try to stick to a plan but always have a contingency and if things still don't go your way, chin up and try again or come up with a new and improved plan....
So these are the things that are right in my life.. I have to thank momgrind for putting up the post and making me want to write about it as well.


Random rani

I'm listening to rock music... I like the guitar parts
I did a few things I should have done long back. I got a great haircut. A couple of friends and I drove around till 2 am last night
I'm tired of being an alcohol virgin....( that means i never drink... haven't had a drink ever)
I read The Geometry of God and simply loved it.
Whatever your definition of a good girl is, it won't fit me.
I'm a great liar.. I don't lie often. I never lie to my mother.
Other than the people who matter a LOT to me, i can make and break promises without the least bit of remorse.
I'm an awesome cook and an awesome dancer. I have to read at least a couple of new books every month.
I never get bored when I'm alone. I care about the way I look. Clothes matter to me. I love fashion. I can talk to anyone about anything. I'm actually one of the most well informed people i know. This is not an exaggeration. I love star wars. like really really. I also love the Hindi movie Karan Arjun. I think it's one of the best movies ever. I once Mahabharath for 6 hours straight.
I'm extremely claustrophobic. I have very easy tears. i think I turned out well coz my folks are really amazing people. I have the best family ever. I think I can do anything for my sis and folks. I have the best best buddy ever. I love to gossip. i think the best place to be on earth is Mysore. Mysore Dasara rocks!I'm kinda high maintenance although I claim that I'm not...I never want to have kids. I don't like them. I wouldn't get married either if I had a choice...and I'm a feminist and very proud to be one. I abhor violence.I love tea and friends and Seinfeld( sitcoms). I have not watched Lagaan or RDB and I don't care


it's dasara and i'm stuck in bangalore! i should be in mysore...mysore is the best place to be during navrathri or atleast i think so anyway. the entire city center is illuminated and the whole atmosphere is just beautiful and so festive.
one of the best things you can do during dasara is to go to the palce a little before 7 when it's not too crowded, listen to the music concert for a while and then watch the lights come on. it's such a fantastic moment. you can then take a tonga from the palace to dev raj urs road and enjoy the lights. you can then go to chaat street, eat dry gobi and go home... the dry gobi i just mentioned is simply one of the tastiest things i have ever eaten.


funny how I can't seem to stick to the same font and color
i had gone to the SICHREM office today and i was really impressed... the work they do is just amazing... but it's also a little sad that they have fund crunch and need money badly. they also need volunteers... they educate people.. i.e children, police, the general public about human rights and also act against all kinds of human rights violations.. the passion with which they work is unbelievable.. and it's a thanklesss job.. you can get things done only if you persevere..
go on... visit their site sometime... here is the link... http://www.sichrem.org


i read purely for pleasure but sometimes i like reading intellectually stimulating stuff like Amartya Sen's The Argumentative Indian or some Bach or Paulo Coelho... So to try something new and intelligent i picked up Orhan Phamuk's My name is Red. i bought it in july and i still haven't finished it... it's so damn boring..... it's supposed to be a murder mystery with all this deep stuff about islam, miniature painting and a lot more but god.....
sometimes i think i should just stick to my mom's advice... she being an avid reader herself told me
this... almost all critically acclaimed books suck...
i think it's the same with art movies and cheese.... both are acquired tastes....
thank god i'm in india because....
  1. there is no abortion debate. no "pro life" groups telling me to keep my baby because thats what God intended.
  2. no sex scandals about politicians splashed across every news paper... their personal lives are just that. personal.
  3. amazing diversity in food...
  4. soft drinks haven't replaced water..
  5. you don't have to worry about your 12 year old posting sexually explicit pictures of herself on the net
i watched wall-e last weekend and it's brilliant...
i wish bollywood would come up with awesome stuff like that... instead all we have is unoriginal, uninspiring, insipid crap...
no no.. i'm not one of those snooty people who don't watch hindi movies... i love hindi movies i just wish they were a little more authentic and original...
i was talking to my dad about this and he told me another curious but sad thing,..
there are no examples of geat new indian architecture which is terrible... are we so creatively deficient? even content on television is so dull.... and all the reality shows are either inspired or copied from american shows...

why feminism

How is feminism still relevant in 21st century India? Women seem to have made great progress. The middle class Indian woman has never had it better.
She can study, she can work, and she can aspire to be whatever she wants. Since this is the idea most young women have, the idea of feminism seems irrelevant and even outdated.
To understand the relevance of feminism, we must first understand what feminism is. The word feminist comes attached with a lot of preconceived notions. A feminist is someone who simply believes that men and women are equal. Nothing more, nothing less. And feminism is about women making their own choices, standing up for those choices and accepting the outcomes of them. How can that be irrelevant or outdated?
Beyond the glossy picture of liberated young women who live the way they want to, there lies a harder, harsher reality. Even today we struggle to live a life we choose, constantly justifying our choices and looking for validations and approval. It is still not OK to be single after a certain age, premarital sex is a big no no and a single woman with an active sex life? God forbid!
Women in small towns and cities are not safe using public transport.
We still get groped and abused when we use public transport or attend a crowded event like a concert or a game. We constantly have to be on the alert and in more cases than not, we will be misbehaved with. Our problems do not end here. The number of rape and molestation cases has grown exponentially over the years and the conviction rates are abysmally low. The lack of sensitivity among law enforcement agencies while dealing with such cases is disturbing. The Mumbai New Years Eve molestation case is only one among the thousands others. A large section of society tended to blame the women themselves. Another such example was when the crowd misbehaved with the IPL cheer leaders, the authorities claimed that the women were themselves to blame because of their "provocative clothes”. This "asked for it" mentality clearly demonstrates that the 21st century Indian society is not quite equipped to handle the 21st century Indian woman.
read more .Anytime a crowd or a mob misbehaves with a woman, the focus is inevitably on the question why rather than the incident itself. She was a little drunk, she really shouldn't be dressed like that, she shouldn't be going to such places...A few common arguments that we always hear. All of this makes us feel as though gender sensitivity and gender equality are rather distant dreams.
Stereotyping women and gender roles in the media is another very serious problem. Take any movie where a child has an important role to play. The little boy is naughty and clever and adventurous while the little girl is portrayed as sweet, caring and good.
Look at the ads... the little boy comes to his dad with his first salary, the little boy tells the dad that he has more letters and the insurance scheme is called "baap ka naam roshan karega"! The boys want to be pilots, doctors lawyers, the girls want to be teachers, nurses or models.
In cartoons and comic books, there are no popular super heroines and almost all well known children's literature has male protagonists.
Whether media influences society or society influences media, gender stereotyping is a dangerous trend.
The lack of women in upper and middle management roles in corporate India is glaring. This has more to do with attitudes and perceptions of the decision makers than a lack of talent among women. “They don't network enough, they don't put in long hours”... a few common arguments we hear but perhaps a revision of the necessary parameters considered for these posts has to change.
A majority of the women in this country still live the life forced on them by their fathers, husbands, and society. The privileged few of us who live the lives we choose are the exception rather than the rule. Until every woman is independent and free, until every girl born is welcomed into the world without feelings of burden and despair, feminism will be relevant.
When people ask about the relevance of feminism, the question that must be asked and answered is, sure we have a voice but are we being heard.


correction: the book i mentioned is 'girls of riyadh'.


ok to all you people reading my blog,i'm sorry for not posting for a very long time. i was a little busy.
ok... fine.. i'm lying... i was lazy....
before i post about anything new,i have a few things to share
1. i actually got a haircut.
2. bought a coloring book and a box of 48 crayons. coloring almost everyday.
3. learnt to make pulav.
4. read daughters of riyadh! amazing book.. i recommend it to everyone.


yahoo!!got a new haircut!!!! and i look pretty nice!!!!


another bomb blast, another 100 dead or injured. we'll act horrified, watch all the news reports about it for the next 3 days, talk about it with our friends( not if you are a software engineer.. you'll be too insensitive to do that either) and then forget about it and move on... sad but true... we have become so insensitive to death and destruction that this is all we can do. collectively sigh as a nation, and then move on. like we always do.
our collective insensitivity is reflected in those we chose to govern us. when 9/11 happened in the US, the public was horrified, the politicians rallied behind the elected leader, and the entire nation chose to ACT. sure it resulted in a bit of paranoia but the result is there has not been a single act of terrorism on American soil since.

when the common man is horrified and when he wishes to act, politicians and law enforcement agencies are compelled to do just that. we don;t even want to know why these attacks keep happening and that too on a regular basis. we are not angry that hundreds die for no fault of theirs. we barely mourn the dead. anytime there is an attack, Pakistan or Bangladesh is blamed and we accept it. just like that. even if the attacks are because of outsiders, we never ask why they were let in, how did they stay for so long, how could they plan these horrid macabre acts without anyone noticing. why are we not asking more questions? why are we not demanding accountability? why are we not looking for results?? why is our mindset as a nation so lethargic and complacent? why does NOTHING scare or shock us anymore???
the only people who can afford to care in this country are the middle class and rich folks and yet we are the people who absolutely do not give a damn..


when u bite off more than u can chew, u might end up biting your own lip and that really hurts.


finished with " the grass is singing"
and passed the exam!!!!YAY


reading Doris lessing's grass is singing... i'm a little freaked out... heavy duty stuff


projects for the month:
  1. make a vision board. why and how?? read this.it's really cool http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-make-a-vision-board
  2. to try at least two new authors. I've started with Doris Lessing
  3. go to nrithyagramam
  4. volunteer for some ngo
  5. send my article to ultra violet by the end of this week.
  6. study for office exam which is on Thursday and PASS.


got this from my sis

I AM: slightly off
I WANT: a really cool haircut
I HAVE: almost everything i want (touch wood)
I WISH: i had the guts to get a really cool haircut
I HATE: narrow minded people, stupid people who are arrogant
I FEAR: losing my family and my friends
I SEARCH: for total peace and harmony in my life
I WONDER: how life will be when I'm 40
I REGRET: not telling two people why I was actually that pissed off with them and how horrible they made me feel
I LOVE: ma, daddy, hema, kirana, gautam, eli, my life
I ALWAYS: get really confused when i have to make a choice
I AM NOT: crazy house crazy
I DANCE: really well
I SING: really badly
I CRY: when I'm sad, angry annoyed or hurt.i have very easy tears
I WRITE: from my heart
I WON: quite a few prizes in school but not as many in college. i didn't participate
I AM CONFUSED: about a LOT of things
I NEED:a really cool haircut
I SHOULD: get a really col haircut


i have a 90s hangover.. i love the music and fashion of the 90s.. i'll tell u why i love the 90s so much
reason no 1: it was the decade madhuri, manisha koirala, juhi, mamta kulkarni.. all so beautiful and different... most of the heroines today look alike... i know i sound 90 but seriously they all look alike.. straight hair, thin and tall wearing the same kind of clothes.. sure costumes of the 90s were well.., costumes!! i know most of it was hideous but at least it was unique.
then the movies were just so smashingly trashy!! absolutely rubbish.. tridev, mohra,DDLJ, karan arjun. dil to pagal hai...
they were truely entertaining..

it was the decade of high waisted jeans. yup.. i like high waisted jeans.. there i've said it! atleast underwear had not lost meaning. and not all girls you saw wore low waisted jeans, a tee and a colored belt. it was at least a little different.

then the music.. it was really cool and as a 12 year old you could watch the videos.
it wasn't soft porn. there were some really cool bands... TLC, boy zone ,
Metallica, nirvana,Hootie and the Blowfish and many more. then there was mariah carrey, madonna, seal.. i can go on. the 90s was the best decade for music.. atleast thats what i think.
bollywood music was pretty neat too. tu cheez badi hai mast mast, koyal si teri boli, all songs from aashiqui, lamhe, humse hai muquabala.. it was really good.

sure 90s wasn't all that great. puffed sleeves and purple were fashionable but still........


i seriously believe that the airplane is the single coolest invention of man!


oh and the other day that the left front in kerala wants to make the state a hub for free open source software by banning everything else..
but isn't that exactly the opposite of what open source stands for???
forcing consumers to use something by making sure they don't have a choice.... hmmm sounds vaguely familiar
my hunt for the perfect facial cream for summer has begun! it flagged off at health and glow. 4 weeks and some hunting later, i still haven't found it.
i'm beginning to lose heart because the last place i looked was a hyper market! whatever that is..
see my requirements for the cream are simple.
firstly and most importantly, it SHOULD NOT BE A FAIRNESS CREAM.
i.e i do not want the words lightening, whitening, fairness or pink associated with it. i like my skin. i like its color, thank you very much.
now this itself rules out Zillion-10 of the zillion creams in the markets.
next, it should be non sticky.
third and optional- it must have something to do with vitamin E. fortified, enriched.. whatever.
last but not the least it must not cost more than 120 bucks.

now i know you people out there( yeah you 5 sweet folks who read my blog) think this is easy but trust me, it is not..
although i do have the tendency to crib excessively about the smallest of things but this time i am not.
this is very serious and disturbing. how fair can brown skinned folk get????? why are there so many *#$@** fairness creams out there? where is the stuff for folks who like the way they look and like the color of their skin?


i don't seem to be writing much of late. i don't post on my blog nor do i write in my journal. i also feel that my latest blog posts seem a little forced and the quality of the writing is a little off the mark too. i have always had a lot to write about but these days i have had to force myself to think about the things around me.i have been wondering why this is and i realized the truth today.
it's not that i don't have anything to write about. it's just that i'm no longer connected to myself. i'm not at peace with myself and the worst part is i'm getting so caught up in a life where
i don't seem to be listening to myself. while it is important to stay connected to the people around us, it is absolutely imperative that we stay connected to ourselves. writing in my journal was how i did that. those few moments spent with myself, listening to me was what kept me in touch with my own thoughts. when i'm not connected to myself, negative emotions like jealousy and insecurity surface. being unsure of the things around me suddenly becomes not OK.
writing helps me balance all that. it makes my universe a more harmonious place.


girls night out! it was so much fun. i would recommend it to anyone who is stuck in any kind of rut. work, family, boyfriends, yourself.. whatever it is, girls night out is definitely a lot of fun. dress up all for yourself. look great and go have tons of fun. your company doesn't have to be your best friends, just a bunch of fun loving, positive people with whom you can have some light hearted fun.
you'll feel great about yourself and come back in great spirits.
i had fun like that tonight. some 5 of us girls from office decided to go out and have some fun. we aren't best friends or anything. just people who like each other. we planned it like a week before and all through the week we were so excited and eager about going. we endlessly discussed what we would wear and all that planning itself was so much fun. today we all left office early, got all gussied up and went to a really great place. we ate good food, talked about fun stuff. nothing intellectual, nothing serious. laughed a lot and had a great time. remember, sometimes it's nice to leave the men behind.


important life truth

the most stupid people in this world are also unfortunately the most arrogant ones


5 things i truely love

  1. reading
  2. watching mindless tv( when there is nothing good coming but you just can't turn it off)
  3. playing tic tac toe with myself( i win almost all the time:))
  4. eating and drinking tea
  5. arguing with myself or anyone else who has an opinion about anything
5 things i truly hate
  1. paying bills.(it's a waste of hard earned money)
  2. fighting with auto drivers
  3. that dry and dusty feeling in my nails after a long day
  4. listening to stupid people who act like they're really smart
  5. going to office every single day(i really wish i could just bunk)
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”-Friedrich Nietzsche

i totally believe that
one of the most interesting questions in life is what makes us the people we turn out to be? is it our upbringing? our own conscious decisions, fate, or circumstances? i believe that our upbringing plays an important role in determining the way we turn out to be but another important factor is our own image of ourselves and also the vision we have for our character, personality and soul.
a person who envisions himself/herself as a martyr, constantly sacrificing one's own happiness for others and not getting a word of appreciation for it will actually turn out to be exactly like that.. sniffly, self deprecating and melodramatic.
when we think of too many dramatic events in lives, we invariably try to create th drama and that in the end produces extremely unhappy situations not only for ourselves but also for the other people in our life.
girls with constant fear of abandonment will eventually drive the men away from their lives..
a girl who constantly thinks of being in a bad relationship will actually find herself attracted to the nastiest kind of men.. either wimps or jerks.

a good self image is the key to a good life. if you don't think you are nice and deserve good things in life and constantly envision sadness or failure, you can be very sure that life won't either.
by the way i don't think only girls have this problem. when men have poor self images, they turn out to be jerks or bullies or losers