when u bite off more than u can chew, u might end up biting your own lip and that really hurts.

finished with " the grass is singing"
and passed the exam!!!!YAY

reading Doris lessing's grass is singing... i'm a little freaked out... heavy duty stuff

projects for the month:

1. make a vision board. why and how?? read this.it's really cool http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-make-a-vision-board
2. to try at least two new authors. I've started with Doris Lessing
3. go to nrithyagramam
4. volunteer for some ngo
5. send my article to ultra violet by the end of this week.
6. study for office exam which is on Thursday and PASS.

got this from my sis


I AM: slightly off
I WANT: a really cool haircut
I HAVE: almost everything i want (touch wood)
I WISH: i had the guts to get a really cool haircut
I HATE: narrow minded people, stupid people who are arrogant
I FEAR: losing my family and my friends
I SEARCH: for total peace and harmony in my life
I WONDER: how life will be when I'm 40
I REGRET: not telling two people why I was actually that pissed off with them and how horrible they made me feel
I LOVE: ma, daddy, hema, kirana, gautam, eli, my life
I ALWAYS: get really confused when i have to make a choice
I AM NOT: crazy house crazy
I DANCE: really well
I SING: really badly
I CRY: when I'm sad, angry annoyed or hurt.i have very easy tears
I WRITE: from my heart
I WON: quite a few prizes in school but not as many in college. i didn't participate
I AM CONFUSED: about a LOT of things
I NEED:a really cool haircut
I SHOULD: get a really col haircut
THE LAST THOUGHT I GO TO SLEEP WITH IS: dunno

i have a 90s hangover.. i love the music and fashion of the 90s.. i'll tell u why i love the 90s so much
reason no 1: it was the decade madhuri, manisha koirala, juhi, mamta kulkarni.. all so beautiful and different... most of the heroines today look alike... i know i sound 90 but seriously they all look alike.. straight hair, thin and tall wearing the same kind of clothes.. sure costumes of the 90s were well.., costumes!! i know most of it was hideous but at least it was unique.
then the movies were just so smashingly trashy!! absolutely rubbish.. tridev, mohra,DDLJ, karan arjun. dil to pagal hai...
they were truely entertaining..

it was the decade of high waisted jeans. yup.. i like high waisted jeans.. there i've said it! atleast underwear had not lost meaning. and not all girls you saw wore low waisted jeans, a tee and a colored belt. it was at least a little different.

then the music.. it was really cool and as a 12 year old you could watch the videos.
it wasn't soft porn. there were some really cool bands... TLC, boy zone ,Metallica, nirvana,Hootie and the Blowfish and many more. then there was mariah carrey, madonna, seal.. i can go on. the 90s was the best decade for music.. atleast thats what i think.
bollywood music was pretty neat too. tu cheez badi hai mast mast, koyal si teri boli, all songs from aashiqui, lamhe, humse hai muquabala.. it was really good.

sure 90s wasn't all that great. puffed sleeves and purple were fashionable but still........

i seriously believe that the airplane is the single coolest invention of man!

oh and the other day that the left front in kerala wants to make the state a hub for free open source software by banning everything else..
but isn't that exactly the opposite of what open source stands for???
forcing consumers to use something by making sure they don't have a choice.... hmmm sounds vaguely familiar

my hunt for the perfect facial cream for summer has begun! it flagged off at health and glow. 4 weeks and some hunting later, i still haven't found it.
i'm beginning to lose heart because the last place i looked was a hyper market! whatever that is..
see my requirements for the cream are simple.
firstly and most importantly, it SHOULD NOT BE A FAIRNESS CREAM.
i.e i do not want the words lightening, whitening, fairness or pink associated with it. i like my skin. i like its color, thank you very much.
now this itself rules out Zillion-10 of the zillion creams in the markets.
next, it should be non sticky.
third and optional- it must have something to do with vitamin E. fortified, enriched.. whatever.
last but not the least it must not cost more than 120 bucks.

now i know you people out there( yeah you 5 sweet folks who read my blog) think this is easy but trust me, it is not..
although i do have the tendency to crib excessively about the smallest of things but this time i am not.
this is very serious and disturbing. how fair can brown skinned folk get????? why are there so many *#$@** fairness creams out there? where is the stuff for folks who like the way they look and like the color of their skin?

i don't seem to be writing much of late. i don't post on my blog nor do i write in my journal. i also feel that my latest blog posts seem a little forced and the quality of the writing is a little off the mark too. i have always had a lot to write about but these days i have had to force myself to think about the things around me.i have been wondering why this is and i realized the truth today.
it's not that i don't have anything to write about. it's just that i'm no longer connected to myself. i'm not at peace with myself and the worst part is i'm getting so caught up in a life where
i don't seem to be listening to myself. while it is important to stay connected to the people around us, it is absolutely imperative that we stay connected to ourselves. writing in my journal was how i did that. those few moments spent with myself, listening to me was what kept me in touch with my own thoughts. when i'm not connected to myself, negative emotions like jealousy and insecurity surface. being unsure of the things around me suddenly becomes not OK.
writing helps me balance all that. it makes my universe a more harmonious place.

girls night out! it was so much fun. i would recommend it to anyone who is stuck in any kind of rut. work, family, boyfriends, yourself.. whatever it is, girls night out is definitely a lot of fun. dress up all for yourself. look great and go have tons of fun. your company doesn't have to be your best friends, just a bunch of fun loving, positive people with whom you can have some light hearted fun.
you'll feel great about yourself and come back in great spirits.
i had fun like that tonight. some 5 of us girls from office decided to go out and have some fun. we aren't best friends or anything. just people who like each other. we planned it like a week before and all through the week we were so excited and eager about going. we endlessly discussed what we would wear and all that planning itself was so much fun. today we all left office early, got all gussied up and went to a really great place. we ate good food, talked about fun stuff. nothing intellectual, nothing serious. laughed a lot and had a great time. remember, sometimes it's nice to leave the men behind.

important life truth

the most stupid people in this world are also unfortunately the most arrogant ones

5 things i truely love

1. reading
2. watching mindless tv( when there is nothing good coming but you just can't turn it off)
3. playing tic tac toe with myself( i win almost all the time:))
4. eating and drinking tea
5. arguing with myself or anyone else who has an opinion about anything

5 things i truly hate

1. paying bills.(it's a waste of hard earned money)
2. fighting with auto drivers
3. that dry and dusty feeling in my nails after a long day
4. listening to stupid people who act like they're really smart
5. going to office every single day(i really wish i could just bunk)
   

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”-Friedrich Nietzsche

i totally believe that

one of the most interesting questions in life is what makes us the people we turn out to be? is it our upbringing? our own conscious decisions, fate, or circumstances? i believe that our upbringing plays an important role in determining the way we turn out to be but another important factor is our own image of ourselves and also the vision we have for our character, personality and soul.
a person who envisions himself/herself as a martyr, constantly sacrificing one's own happiness for others and not getting a word of appreciation for it will actually turn out to be exactly like that.. sniffly, self deprecating and melodramatic.
when we think of too many dramatic events in lives, we invariably try to create th drama and that in the end produces extremely unhappy situations not only for ourselves but also for the other people in our life.
girls with constant fear of abandonment will eventually drive the men away from their lives..
a girl who constantly thinks of being in a bad relationship will actually find herself attracted to the nastiest kind of men.. either wimps or jerks.


a good self image is the key to a good life. if you don't think you are nice and deserve good things in life and constantly envision sadness or failure, you can be very sure that life won't either.
by the way i don't think only girls have this problem. when men have poor self images, they turn out to be jerks or bullies or losers

i've always to put up a post on the women i admire and why. so here goes..
first the woman who influenced me at every step in my life.. my mother of course.
she is one the smartest , most compassionate and happy and spunky women i probably will ever meet. she taught me that actions were always much better than hollow words, that what goes around comes around and that the universe is a very fair place even though it may not seem so sometimes. she also taught me to accept people for who they are.

Sonia Gandhi. my dad says that she has more political acumen than the entire opposition put together. it took a lot of courage to return to the national political scene after a humiliating defeat in the late 90s.

my headmistress in school. she was one amazing woman. she was exactly like the head mistresses you read about in enid blytons..
wise, inspiring and brave. she saw all of us for not just the people we were but for the people we could become. she was amazing and i can proudly say that i was one of her favorites too.

Oprah Winfrey. the richest woman in the US of A. the richest African American. one of the most influential people of our era . the queen of talk show, she has discussed various issues facing millions of ordinary men and women all over the world from weight loss to low self esteem, from prostitution to war.
a humanitarian in every sense of the world, ms Winfrey is a role model to girls world over.


mukhtran mai, the woman who became the face of the struggle that millions of battered women world over go through. her fight for justice and her story is awe inspiring. a poor illeterate woman, gang raped as a punishment for a crime she or her family had nothing to do with in the savage tribal belt of pakistan, mukhtran mai fought with every breath she had for justice and finally won. her story should teach us to be brave and fight till we can fight no more, to stand up for ourselves and what we believe in.

and by the way, to anyone who cares a little about stuff other than themselves and like reading... please read to kill a mocking bird by Harper Lee.. if you've already read it, do read it again!

working, living alone, paying your bills, cooking almost twice a week.... all such grown up things.. i hate to admit it but i think i'm a grown up now. strange isn't it.. realizing that you're a grown up, responsible for your own actions, responsible for giving direction to your own life.. it's a very solemn realization.
I've always thought that being grown up is a little boring. being all proper and fake.If you're even a little interesting, then you're considered to be eccentric. I'd rather be eccentric than proper!
one more strange grownup phenomenon is that grownups never ever split the bill! one person is always expcted to pick up the bill when grown ups go out to eat!what happened to going dutch????
there are certain good things about being grown up though.. you have plenty of money to blow it up any way you want but sadly most people don't know how to enjoy the money they work so hard to earn.
the other thing is, you can stay out late. no one to yell at you!You can make as many phone calls as you want, cut your hair any way you like and wear whatever you want.
for me, the best things about being a grown up are, the money with which i can buy books whenever i want and that sense of increased freedom and independence. it isn't that boring either because i'm a little eccentric..

amazing

http://www.eightprinciples.com/

15 th august came and went. some folks spent a quiet day at home, others went out, doing the things they love to do,catching a movie, meeting friends, shopping..
i went to a bookstore and spent the entire morning blissfully reading. each year i wonder what independence day means to me and i never quite figured it out but this year i think i realized what freedom and independence mean to me. in the bookstore, i was reading the book about mukhtran mai, the young Pakistani woman who fought for justice and truth and became the face and voice of millions of women who are battered, raped and left in despair. her struggle for justice when the universe she knows is up against her, is absolutely remarkable.
as I read her story, i began to realize what freedom meant to me. freedom to me is to go to a bookstore alone and sit and read there without fear or hesitation. it is that which lets me live alone in a big city again without fear or skepticism.
freedom to me is to go out to dinner and come back late without worrying about my safety.
freedom is that everyday choice i get to make.. freedom to wear what i want, meet the people i want at the places i want, talk a little loudly when i have to, yell at the auto driver for making me wait for too long in a petrol bunk or walk into a restaurant alone.
this is freedom to me. freedom means falling in love , fighting with my father, talking to my male friends, owning a cell phone and the millions of other privileges that i tend to take for granted.
my parents made sure that i got a good education. this gave me my freedom. my country ensured that they could do so.there are millions of young women on the face of the earth who cannot do any of these things. they cannot even show their faces to the world or have their voices heard. they eat, sleep, live and die at the mercy of a man. father,brother, husband, society and country.
thats why i celebrated independence day doing the one thing that i love the most. reading.